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Negotiating gay men’s relationships: how are monogamy and non-monogamy experienced and practised over time?

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posted on 2023-08-30, 15:09 authored by Steven Philpot, Duane Duncan, Jeanne Ellard, Benjamin R. Bavinton, Jeffrey Grierson, Garrett P. Prestage
When viewed over time, many gay men’s relationships are not static, or firmly fixed to monogamy or non-monogamy. This paper uses in-depth interviews with 61 Australian gay men to explore how monogamy and non-monogamy are experienced over time, expectations of what constitutes the norms regarding gay men’s relationships and how couples experience and practices change. Although some gay men may idealise monogamy, particularly at the beginning of a relationship, it is often experienced as temporary. Non-monogamy is often seen as a likely prospect for gay relationships owing to the social and cultural norms that operate in gay communities. These expected trajectories are reflected in practice – many relationships begin monogamously and then become non-monogamous over time. While the application of ‘rules’, experimentation and flexibility can facilitate change, couples may struggle to navigate new territory as their relationship structures shift. This is particularly the case when partners value monogamy and non-monogamy differently, or when one partner’s values change. These findings shed light on how gay men approach change to the status of ‘fidelity’ within their relationships, and the tensions and opportunities that change can produce for couples.

History

Refereed

  • Yes

Volume

20

Issue number

8

Page range

915-928

Publication title

Culture, Health & Sexuality

ISSN

1464-5351

Publisher

Taylor & Francis

File version

  • Accepted version

Language

  • eng

Legacy posted date

2018-02-15

Legacy creation date

2018-02-13

Legacy Faculty/School/Department

ARCHIVED Faculty of Health, Social Care & Education (until September 2018)

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